JB!

His inner distress

encompassed me

I sat silent

unable to console

comfort

or offer solace.

He means the world to me

yet he is unable to see

his beauty.

Amazingly creative

gentle, warm and kind.

My heart cries out to him

locked inside his detached mind.

Frustrated, depressed, alone

trying to relate

a world of confusion

struggles to understand

why he is different to I.

I wish to be a mirror

for his grace and awe

so he will notice

what I notice

fantastical, special man.

All my compassion and empathy

falls down around his feet

unable to relate to me

thus part of his defeat.

Be strong enough

to stand by his side

and offer him

unconditional loving nurture.

whilst ask for nothing in return

my challenge

as I learn to be with him.

He evokes me

my soul ablaze

I shine within his company.

He offers me

divine consolation

whenever the plight

of meaninglessness

surrounds me.

As gift

this man

whom I so need.

To walk beside me

as my friend.

In a world gone mad

it is he who permits me

to see the sense of it.

How cruel

that he can offer me

a universe of

wonderment and splendour.

While he is blind

to his own magnificence

or is able to see me

reflect his phenomenon.

My dearest friend

whom I called JB

I wish that you could feel

All that I see in thee.

MedusaMoon  © 2013

Joseph # 2

In isolation

he suffers

the burning sensation

consumes his mind.

Clutching his brain

within his hands

removing all contents

just stop.

Behind an invisible

 glass menagerie

staring outward at the world

pleading with me to relate

regardless how hard I try

I fail time again.

Fading fast

into a world

of misunderstood chaos.

The child within his being

disconnected, abandoned, unbeknown

tormenting daydreams

silent blood-curling screams

don’t leave me on my own.

To experience interconnectedness

I see, you have, not me.

Years of disillusion, confusion

“What the hell is wrong with me?”

Retracing steps

to gain a sense

of who he used to be

helplessness, hopelessness, desperation.

Night turns into day

“Why am I here?”

Countless answered questions

a continual battle to survive.

Oh how he sadness me

as he is just the most

amazing man,

so gifted, artistic, autistic, musician, magician,

Joseph…I so wish that you

could see

how brightly you shine.

MedusaMoon  © 2013

Heartbreaking!

Drifting afloat

In the blackest nitesky

Falling into the deep

Drowning in an icy pool

I begin to weep.

Lonely and blue

Fragile ice

Tears roll as

I think of you.

Breakable flesh

Thinner than thin

Uncomfortable inside

My once thick skin.

Behind a waterfall

I hid my heart

Not to be touch

Cold as rock

Dead, so old.

Something inside me dies

I sit by the window of your soul

You do not see me

I remain still.

Mountains fall

My wonder crumbles

Dreams disturbed

But

Not before

I awake to see

You

Do not belong

To me.

Medusa  c 2012

Recovery

My blessings are immeasurable

I sit in silence

and reflect on my life.

Encircled by such beauty and light

I hold gratitude for food provided

and the shelter that houses my soul.

Inside this space, there is comfort and warmth

I feel contented and protected.

I hold this immense love inside

Love that shines outwardly

To those around me, some

whom I invite into my life,

and others,  whom I now cautiously avoid.

I hold huge affection for those who,

in the past, have demonstrated

a sense of non-judgemental understanding,

and who offered me a chance.

I carry compassion and kindness

for anyone who crosses my path.

On my journey

into recover

My beautiful existence

Today, I feel alive

I experience joyous and peaceful bliss.

Yet, I am humbled by those individuals

who still struggle to come to terms

with their painful past.

The hell that they have had to endure,

The nightmare they will still experience in whilst in addiction.

Inspired by their resilience and inner strength

In a world so full of suffering.

And all I can offer is this message

That regardless of your plight

I hear you

I see you.

And there is always hope,

there is purposefulness,

there is a wondrous life!

One day, I hope that you too

will give yourself a chance

and step into the light.

Abandon your self-destructiveness

and walk the road into recovery.

Because I am worth it,

And you are worth it too.

Accompany those of us

who travel this journey

into recovery

Where life is simple,

and you are free.

MedusaMoon © 2012

Spark!

A spark beneath

the darkness,

my hopelessness

a glimmer.

The start

of hope, new beginnings

future, past and closure of

what’s left behind,

a mask

who I used to be.

My flame was dim

barely visible

yet, someone saw it

small and low

they blew onto my spark

all possibility

and now I see my disregarded soul.

Hope was there today

if only for today

it is the start

the road I choose to travel.

I am not alone

I have the very part of me

I hide it well

empty and so distant.

Full of shame

guilt ridden to the core

yet on this day

I found acceptance.

Forgiveness came

if only for a moment

it is a start

of what may be foreseen.

Just for today

I felt I had a reason

to be alive

and not only existing.

I seek out truth

so I can find my reason

purpose to be

more than

who I am!

Butterflies and Moonbeams.

Hidden

In the dark

Alone

Waiting for the end.

My time

Spent concealed

In my cocoon of despair.

Wanting to feel

The sun

Upon my translucent skin.

Brightest colours

Big and bold

One day, I’ll begin.

Every caterpillar

Has a chance

To be the butterfly.

So I’m told

Therefore I wait

In coldest days

Till I shall fly.

Until my wings

Of gold unfold

I dream of moonbeams in the sky.

The ugly caterpillar

I may be

Until my cast does break.

Then I will shine

Yes, I shall be

The butterfly, awake!

The end!

Half Moon.

Engraved on my soul
memories of you
Dreaming, drifting

I wondering past

the house

where we once lived.

Where home fires burnt

yet, now I see

another flame

does glow.

At a glance

into a window

another face

not mine.

Living in another time

hear my cries

I feel I am dying.

Still need your touch

Forbidden, forgiven

forsaken,  alone.

Tears roll down

sunken cheeks

on pale face.

Desperation

I hurt.

Decisions made

in moments haste

The last look

on your most

handsome face.

The past should

remain in the

corners of my

sub-conscious mind.

For they are

too painful

too  soiled

forgotten, lost.

Therefore

I banished from my heart

these exhausted dreams

As only pieces

of my broken heart

remain.