The day I stood at the foot of a mountain, I discovered my
insignificance. The walk that led me deep into the woods opened my eyes to the
magnificent of creation. It was a lonely tear that fell into the ocean which
allowed me to connect with the whole. The moment I allowed myself to sit within
the darkness that surrounded me, my soul found illumination.
I had walked in the valley of death for years, lost and confused.
The only way to survive was to eliminate this painful existence with every escapism
and avoidance method created by man. An
empty vessel wondering from shore to shore in hope, that one day, I may once
again feel alive. To walk in the sunshine, I needed to experience my shadow
self, embrace those disowned parts-of-self that were the cause of my greatest
shame. I needed to acknowledge that
these were a part of my psychodynamics, the process of being human. I learnt to
sit in silence, as my inner demons manifested themselves, to gain a deeper
understanding of the purposefulness of these darker forces. I am human; the essence of being human is to
explore both the dark and the light.
The greatest challenge was the realisation that everything I
have ever been told was a fabrication. A structure created by man for man to
exploit and control man, a nonsensical establishment for profit and gain! Then
I found my freedom and was able to break down the walls of my own prison. I
discovered individualisation and the courage to stand alone amid the madding
crowd.
My journey led me to discover the art of psychotherapy,
philosophy, Zen, Osho, Jung, Mindfulness, Buddhism, Shamanism, Paganism, art,
music, poetry, compassion, non-judgemental kindness, empathy, humanity, love
and grace. I am in a constant flow of learning, as an eternal student it is an
exciting time to be evolving and awakening, as I move toward a more enlightened
stance. I hold my past with an element
of understanding and forgiveness, I see my future as the exciting and
unpredictable unknown, but most importantly, I feel the essence of each moment,
for within this very moment, I experience life.
