Childhood Memories

Anger inside

Eats me alive

Sweet memories

Childhood bliss

Not my memories

Not in my youth

You told me lies

I asked for truth

Roses are red

Bruises are blue

A slap in the face

For me from you

My low self esteem

This lack of worth

My broken dreams

All screwed up and insecure

Distrusting loveless life

Just as you told me

Still cut like a knife

Roses are red

Violence is blue

A punch in the face

For me from you

The future is bright

Amount to nothing

My destiny is golden

Die with nothing

You gave me life

I asked for nothing

You gave me nothing

I got what I had coming

Roses are red

I’m always blue

Sweet memories

Of me and you

Space Cowboy

How many e’s are you going to pop?

Before you get really loved up

How much acid will you take?

Before you leave your mind wide open

How much dope do you have to smoke?

Before you realise you can actually cope

I’m not knocking you

I've done what you do

It helped me through

But now I feel better.

If you want to get high

And reach for the sky

Take some time out

To look in the mirror

How much coke goes up your nose?

Before you realize it's all a pose

Crack, heroin or alcohol

How much do you need?

Before you destroy what's left of your soul?

All that speed will make you bleed

I too began life as a working class hero?

I do understand

I’ve seen your pain

Waited for the man

But now I know I am different

If you want to feel good

I’m sure you would

If you only believe

Life can only get better

Judgemental

Try to be less judgemental, 

than I use to be

Respectful to those who

 standing close to me

Opened up my eyes

 the bigger picture see

I’m a part of this earth 

as it a part of me

Show compassion 

at least once a day

Think about 

what I am about to say?

With understanding 

others’ pain may go away

It is great to know 

every one is OK today

Don't partake in bringing 

my fellow man down

Would you stand by and watch 

somebody drown

The world may feel 

I am this arrogant clown

I don't need to be a king 

to wear a crown

Would I laugh 

while I watch another cry?

Life is too short 

to wish that I would die

Knock them down 

no matter how they try

We do these things

 did you ever wonder why?

What did I do for you to detest me so?

What are you trying to say

something I don’t know?

The way you act towards me

 hit me with such a blow

If you don't accept my shame 

then where am I to go!

MM © 2010

Innocent Child

How long can she walk

In the shadow of her pain

Here comes the anger once again.

How loud does she really have to scream?

Will she be accused of creating another scene?

Secrets she keeps deep inside

How much hurt could that child hide

Could she trust you to believe her lies?

All you ever saw was pain

Behind that child's eyes

Where do you draw the line?

It hurts her

Who gave you the right?

To touch her

You watch her cry

Yet still hurt her

That innocent child

Not born to be wild

An innocent child

Disguise your love

So to you it makes sense

Then see if society thinks you are just

Try to explain to the mother of that child

What was the meaning of you lust

You are her reoccurring dream

A dream that most would call obscene

But you said that you loved her

So it was alright

Is she still in your nightmares?

You now have each night

Melissa © 2010

As if...

I no longer hurt 
all pain has passed 
I knew it would

Those tears that I cried 
what are they worth

There’s no reason why
I sit here on my own

Why, what's so wrong 
with being alone?

Solitude, 
my favourite past time

Where no one can reach me

The moment 
I open my heart

Someone will 
just rip it apart

Bitter and twisted 
is not my style

Just need to be quiet 
for a while

What did I do that was so wrong?

I am only trying to be 
brave and strong

I don't know who 
I’m meant to be

This world is not apart of me

Angles protect my soul 
they swept over me

They gave me hope 
they set me free

All I ask from the world 
around me

That very world that has gone 
and bound me

The winds of my heart 
have been blown away

I've seen the face of another day

Silent and still 
I sit and I watch

Stop trying to hold on 
to all that I touch

It never meant 
that much to you

First time in my life 
I know what to do

MM ©2010

Hurts

Intoxicated by your hate

Domination and control

Suffered so long in silence

It’s time to let it go

Suffocating, drowning in my tears

Can't be a way of living

Catatonic, swimming, sea blue

Unrealistic state of duja-ve

Reincarnated unhappiness

Repeats of movies blue

No longer exist, deranged

Blood completely drained

State of confusion

Disappointment

Rejection, masochistic too long

Constantly in a dream like state

Before I crumble break and fall

Under your spell I have broken

Freedom awaits the lonely child

Dogmatic words too often spoken

All so crazy, hazy, wild

Last exist before destruction

This is where I depart

Before I no longer feel human

Just a cask that holds a heart

MM ©2010

A life

Given life that I tried to destroy

No respect for life

An unwanted joy

Hurt it and beat it

Caused misery and pain

Was useless and worthless

Drove me insane

Spent years punishing it

Misunderstanding why it’s mine

Resentful so envious

Other’s lives would just shine

So much darkness, anger

Banging head against wall

Struggled to reach the top

Slide back and fall

Full of blame, self pity

Playing the victim at most

My scars, I’d show you

Yet I don’t want to boast

Sat here in the corner

Alone in the night

Substance abuse to numb pain

Felt it’s my goddamn right

So it went for the longest time

Till one day I awoke

With my life all around me

A million pieces, broke

Enough of the hurting

Lonely painful existence

Decided to get real

Give myself this one last chance

So I pick up my torn life

Embraced it again

Sorted out what was mine

And just what was his shame

Got grateful, worthy

Learnt how to delight

Moved away from the darkness

And into the light

I’m alive!

Melissa © 2010